Developing the Heart of a Filial Son - Interview with Hyo Jin Moon, Hyun Jin Moon, Kook Jin Moon, and Jin Sung Pak
Dong Moon Joo July 1985
From January 12 to February 20, Hyo Jin Nim made a special forty-day condition to pray every night from midnight to 2 a.m. at East Garden holy ground His motivation was to solidify his determination to support Father completely as his True Son and to deepen his commitment to Father's sacrificial way of love. Among many other things, he prayed for the unity of the True Family and/or the unity of all the blessed children of the world for whom he feels personally responsible.
Shortly after Hyo Jin Nim began his condition, Hyun Jin Nim, Kook Jin Nim, and Jin Sung Nim wanted to support their brother by praying with him, and they ended up making forty-day prayer conditions themselves. The following is an interview with the four brothers after their conditions were completed
Dong Moon Joo:
Hyo Jin Nim, could you tell us your motivation for doing this prayer condition?
Hyo Jin Nim:
I am the eldest son of True Parents' family. I only did what I felt I had to do. There are no words to express how moved I was when my brothers joined me in prayer every night. What especially touched me was that they did it voluntarily from their hearts, thinking, "I must go through this together with my brother. Whatever it takes, I want to support him." They all have a very full daily schedule but they came every night without one word of complaint.
I want to be a person who can give freely, but it's not easy to constantly have this attitude of heart. My utmost desire is to be able to give my greater, larger self. Many people have lost the ability to manage or develop themselves constructively; they pursue only their own interests and settle for merely personal achievement or material success. You cannot become your true self if you are only disjointed fragments. So because of this, I want to understand and manifest God's will, whatever it takes, and I want to not only digest all the different aspects of myself, but convey this "digested" self to others.
And I also have a wish for my brothers and sisters: that they become people who can stand before the world and convey God's message. My lifelong goal is to glorify God. In the eternal world God is all there is; so I want to become a person who can understand God's will and reflect His love. My hope is that my Unification Church brothers and sisters can also become such people. I believe our path is the only path that can lead us to the achievement of this goal.
I wish with all my heart that without a day's delay blessed families, including blessed children, can become united and absolutely obedient and responsible to the True Parents.
Dong Moon Joo:
Could you other brothers explain what motivated you to participate in this condition?
Hyun Jin Nim:
At first, it was because I wanted to support Hyo Jin Hyung. I really didn't understand the meaning and depth of this forty-day condition. Later on I realized its purpose. It also helped me understand myself better. Until this condition I didn't clearly perceive my faults or my good points. Sometimes it was very hard for me to face the facts. But I feel this condition came at a stage when I was breaking through adolescence, I guess, and arriving at a newer understanding of the world, my position, and the people around me. I don't feel that my doing this condition was such a great accomplishment; it was so small compared to the many other great gifts Hyo Jin Hyung and Father have given to God and humanity. In my heart I feel that it was too small to be so significant; it was actually a time to grow.
Kook Jin Nim:
I started the forty-day condition during my exam week, when Hyo Jin Hyung had already begun his condition. I did it because I love my brother and I wanted to be with him. At first I participated only on the weekends. And after exams were over, the basic reason I went up to the holy rock was to support my brother and keep him company. But when Hyo Jin Hyung had finished his condition I kept on going because I had started something, and I couldn't just let it hang, because I was doing it for True Father. I was praying for the members, so that they could realize what kind of suffering my brothers had gone through. So I decided to complete the rest of my condition.
Jin Sung Nim:
When Hyo Jin Hyung Nim started his condition, I was beginning a new semester in law school. I went up to pray with him a couple of times. As a new member of the True Family, I'm always trying to find a better way to serve the True Family and unite with my brothers and sisters. But I realized through the guidance of Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, Hyun Jin Nim, and Kook Jin Nim that I was allowing too many excuses to come into my mind when I thought about a forty-day condition. Many times a little voice in my head would say, "Well, you're very busy," or, "Your school is very important, so you have to watch out and get enough rest at night so you're not sleepy in class." And I realized that, in a way, Satan was trying to come into my mind. On the one hand I wanted to become a better brother for my new brothers and sisters. But at the same time I knew that if I didn't do anything about it, Satan would attempt to come in and influence me to take the comfortable way and find some justification for not making the effort. With the help and example of Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, however, I began to realize that you have to take responsibility and do something towards your goal instead of just thinking about it. And even though school was on my mind, I realized how Father always gives more and more and doesn't pay attention to excuses. So, besides the fact that I wanted to go out and support Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, I also realized that I needed this kind of condition to deepen my own heart so I could become a better brother.
Dong Moon Joo:
What did you see as the most significant point of the forty days?
Hyun Jin Nim:
When I was sitting there with Hyo Jin Hyung on my right side and Kook Jin on my left and I heard them pray, I could feel their determination and devotion to their missions for the sake of the world, and how much love they were giving out. I could especially feel this from Hyo Jin Hyung. He was always praying about how to further the creation of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. My two younger brothers were right there supporting him, and this truly builds the spiritual fire in you. You just want to get up and shout, you have so much energy.
You want to go out there and teach people what they're doing wrong. When they're praying it's that intense.
They came every night to the holy rock. They might have had an exam the next day, or three tests to study for, or it might have been cold and raining. In such situations your body doesn't want to respond to you. But in spite of all these circumstances they would come and pray; they would share their feelings. To me that was the most inspiring aspect of it. Every time I heard them pray, it made me feel that I had to give them something through my prayers or through my actions.
Kook Jin Nim:
The most inspiring thing for me was hearing my brothers' words. They spoke truth not just on the family or tribal level; they spoke for the sake of the world and the universe. Their words weren't just words; they had deep feelings behind them. Hearing what they said about the responsibility of each of us inspired me very much to go on, because when they prayed I felt Father's heart coming right through their words. I felt the sense of responsibility they have toward our Heavenly Father and True Parents and their other brothers and sisters; how much they care about the suffering of others, how much they would like the members to be aware of that, and how they don't want our Heavenly Father to suffer any more.
Jin Sung Nim:
For me the most inspiring point was having True Family there and being able to listen to them pray. I especially spent a lot of time with Hyun Jin Nim and Kook Jin Nim, and even though they are just starting high school I know they are under a lot of pressure. During those prayers, I usually prayed first, then Kook Jin Nim, then Hyun Jin Nim, and then Hyo Jin Hyung Nim. During the day Kook Jin Nim and Hyun Jin Nim are normal, active youths. But when I heard them pray, I was just astounded by the depth with which they were speaking one on one to Heavenly Father.
During their prayer they did something they usually don't do around people: they opened up their hearts; and because I was there I was able to hear, see and feel the most inner self they were offering to Heavenly Father. I am sure that in Heavenly Father's eyes they are not just children, and I was there to witness their deep understanding of Heavenly Father's and True Parents' heart. It was just unbelievable that they prayed this way at such a young age. What you see with your eyes can sometimes make you not see, because when they were sharing with Heavenly Father, suddenly their great strength and their characters just flowed out and almost overwhelmed me. When I listened to Hyo Jin Hyung Nim pray there was a closeness between him and Heavenly Father that was so intimate. I was there witnessing a conversation between Heavenly Father and His children. It was a very, very special time.
Dong Moon Joo:
If Father were here right now, what would you like to say to him?