Developing the Heart of a Filial Son - Interview
Developing the Heart of a Filial Son - Interview with Hyo Jin Moon, Hyun Jin Moon, Kook Jin Moon, and Jin Sung Pak
Dong Moon Joo July 1985
From January 12 to February 20, Hyo Jin Nim made a special forty-day condition to pray every night from midnight to 2 a.m. at East Garden holy ground His motivation was to solidify his determination to support Father completely as his True Son and to deepen his commitment to Father's sacrificial way of love. Among many other things, he prayed for the unity of the True Family and/or the unity of all the blessed children of the world for whom he feels personally responsible.
Shortly after Hyo Jin Nim began his condition, Hyun Jin Nim, Kook Jin Nim, and Jin Sung Nim wanted to support their brother by praying with him, and they ended up making forty-day prayer conditions themselves. The following is an interview with the four brothers after their conditions were completed
Dong Moon Joo:
Hyo Jin Nim, could you tell us your motivation for doing this prayer condition?
Hyo Jin Nim:
I am the eldest son of True Parents' family. I only did what I felt I had to do. There are no words to express how moved I was when my brothers joined me in prayer every night. What especially touched me was that they did it voluntarily from their hearts, thinking, "I must go through this together with my brother. Whatever it takes, I want to support him." They all have a very full daily schedule but they came every night without one word of complaint.
I want to be a person who can give freely, but it's not easy to constantly have this attitude of heart. My utmost desire is to be able to give my greater, larger self. Many people have lost the ability to manage or develop themselves constructively; they pursue only their own interests and settle for merely personal achievement or material success. You cannot become your true self if you are only disjointed fragments. So because of this, I want to understand and manifest God's will, whatever it takes, and I want to not only digest all the different aspects of myself, but convey this "digested" self to others.
And I also have a wish for my brothers and sisters: that they become people who can stand before the world and convey God's message. My lifelong goal is to glorify God. In the eternal world God is all there is; so I want to become a person who can understand God's will and reflect His love. My hope is that my Unification Church brothers and sisters can also become such people. I believe our path is the only path that can lead us to the achievement of this goal.
I wish with all my heart that without a day's delay blessed families, including blessed children, can become united and absolutely obedient and responsible to the True Parents.
Dong Moon Joo:
Could you other brothers explain what motivated you to participate in this condition?
Hyun Jin Nim:
At first, it was because I wanted to support Hyo Jin Hyung. I really didn't understand the meaning and depth of this forty-day condition. Later on I realized its purpose. It also helped me understand myself better. Until this condition I didn't clearly perceive my faults or my good points. Sometimes it was very hard for me to face the facts. But I feel this condition came at a stage when I was breaking through adolescence, I guess, and arriving at a newer understanding of the world, my position, and the people around me. I don't feel that my doing this condition was such a great accomplishment; it was so small compared to the many other great gifts Hyo Jin Hyung and Father have given to God and humanity. In my heart I feel that it was too small to be so significant; it was actually a time to grow.
Kook Jin Nim:
I started the forty-day condition during my exam week, when Hyo Jin Hyung had already begun his condition. I did it because I love my brother and I wanted to be with him. At first I participated only on the weekends. And after exams were over, the basic reason I went up to the holy rock was to support my brother and keep him company. But when Hyo Jin Hyung had finished his condition I kept on going because I had started something, and I couldn't just let it hang, because I was doing it for True Father. I was praying for the members, so that they could realize what kind of suffering my brothers had gone through. So I decided to complete the rest of my condition.
Jin Sung Nim:
When Hyo Jin Hyung Nim started his condition, I was beginning a new semester in law school. I went up to pray with him a couple of times. As a new member of the True Family, I'm always trying to find a better way to serve the True Family and unite with my brothers and sisters. But I realized through the guidance of Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, Hyun Jin Nim, and Kook Jin Nim that I was allowing too many excuses to come into my mind when I thought about a forty-day condition. Many times a little voice in my head would say, "Well, you're very busy," or, "Your school is very important, so you have to watch out and get enough rest at night so you're not sleepy in class." And I realized that, in a way, Satan was trying to come into my mind. On the one hand I wanted to become a better brother for my new brothers and sisters. But at the same time I knew that if I didn't do anything about it, Satan would attempt to come in and influence me to take the comfortable way and find some justification for not making the effort. With the help and example of Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, however, I began to realize that you have to take responsibility and do something towards your goal instead of just thinking about it. And even though school was on my mind, I realized how Father always gives more and more and doesn't pay attention to excuses. So, besides the fact that I wanted to go out and support Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, I also realized that I needed this kind of condition to deepen my own heart so I could become a better brother.
Dong Moon Joo:
What did you see as the most significant point of the forty days?
Hyun Jin Nim:
When I was sitting there with Hyo Jin Hyung on my right side and Kook Jin on my left and I heard them pray, I could feel their determination and devotion to their missions for the sake of the world, and how much love they were giving out. I could especially feel this from Hyo Jin Hyung. He was always praying about how to further the creation of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. My two younger brothers were right there supporting him, and this truly builds the spiritual fire in you. You just want to get up and shout, you have so much energy.
You want to go out there and teach people what they're doing wrong. When they're praying it's that intense.
They came every night to the holy rock. They might have had an exam the next day, or three tests to study for, or it might have been cold and raining. In such situations your body doesn't want to respond to you. But in spite of all these circumstances they would come and pray; they would share their feelings. To me that was the most inspiring aspect of it. Every time I heard them pray, it made me feel that I had to give them something through my prayers or through my actions.
Kook Jin Nim:
The most inspiring thing for me was hearing my brothers' words. They spoke truth not just on the family or tribal level; they spoke for the sake of the world and the universe. Their words weren't just words; they had deep feelings behind them. Hearing what they said about the responsibility of each of us inspired me very much to go on, because when they prayed I felt Father's heart coming right through their words. I felt the sense of responsibility they have toward our Heavenly Father and True Parents and their other brothers and sisters; how much they care about the suffering of others, how much they would like the members to be aware of that, and how they don't want our Heavenly Father to suffer any more.
Jin Sung Nim:
For me the most inspiring point was having True Family there and being able to listen to them pray. I especially spent a lot of time with Hyun Jin Nim and Kook Jin Nim, and even though they are just starting high school I know they are under a lot of pressure. During those prayers, I usually prayed first, then Kook Jin Nim, then Hyun Jin Nim, and then Hyo Jin Hyung Nim. During the day Kook Jin Nim and Hyun Jin Nim are normal, active youths. But when I heard them pray, I was just astounded by the depth with which they were speaking one on one to Heavenly Father.
During their prayer they did something they usually don't do around people: they opened up their hearts; and because I was there I was able to hear, see and feel the most inner self they were offering to Heavenly Father. I am sure that in Heavenly Father's eyes they are not just children, and I was there to witness their deep understanding of Heavenly Father's and True Parents' heart. It was just unbelievable that they prayed this way at such a young age. What you see with your eyes can sometimes make you not see, because when they were sharing with Heavenly Father, suddenly their great strength and their characters just flowed out and almost overwhelmed me. When I listened to Hyo Jin Hyung Nim pray there was a closeness between him and Heavenly Father that was so intimate. I was there witnessing a conversation between Heavenly Father and His children. It was a very, very special time.
Dong Moon Joo:
If Father were here right now, what would you like to say to him?
Hyun Jin Nim:
You know Father's history: at the age of 16 he pledged to Jesu Nim that he would accomplish the goal and become a true man and do this mission even if it meant giving lip his life. I myself feel that this is the only meaningful gift I can offer to True Father and True Mother.
Dong Moon Joo:
What is that?
Hyun Jin Nim:
The pledge to become a true son of God and a true son of True Parents. The pledge to become an ideal person, an ideal Adam. But I feel that even though this forty-day condition seems significant, I still have much more to do, because Father did not just stop at the age of 16 after pledging his life to Jesu Nim; he kept on doing even more and giving even greater pledges and making bigger determinations. I want to give the same to Father.
Kook Jin Nim:
I don't feel I have to say anything to Father, because from the beginning of their lives our True Parents have done so many conditions and suffered so much. They know I have gone up to the holy rock for forty days; they know what I have prayed for, what I have asked Heavenly Father for. When they were young, they also made the same kinds of conditions; so it is not necessary for me to go to my father and report what I have done. I just went up to the holy rock to pray, not for myself but for my brothers and sisters and for Heavenly Father; so it is not my victory, it is their victory. I cannot go up to my True Father and True Mother and say, "Look what I have done," because I have not done anything so great.
Jin Sung Nim:
Like Hyun Jin Nim and Kook Jin Nim I feel that my Father is looking at me, and though he gives me so much love and understanding through his eyes, I know he's hoping that I can do much more. He knows that I do not see the suffering, the bloodshed, and the tears that have gone before me. In a way there isn't really much to say about this forty- day condition because it was our duty. As Hyo Jin Hyung Nim often tells us, if something is expected of us, and we are able to do it, then accomplishing that deed or condition is nothing to brag about. Even though True Parents are happy, we are just fulfilling our responsibilities.
Dong Moon Joo:
What message would you like to send to your brothers and sisters worldwide?
Kook Jin Nim:
I hope that soon the heavenly tradition will be brought down to earth and all the people in the world will follow the proper order in the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, which is absolute and cannot be compromised. That order descends in a chain: True Parents' family comes first, then the first disciples, and then the next disciples. This was the way the Kingdom of Heaven is to be founded. The whole world was made according to strict heavenly law.
Jin Sung Nim:
Nobody thinks more about the brothers and sisters in our movement than the True Parents and the True Children. Everyone here is so grateful for the effort and the sacrifices that our brothers and sisters are making out there. But one of the things I have come to realize is the profound meaning of the word "true." I have been spending enough time with the True Family to see the difference between true and not true, and I know that the key point, not only for our members but for the whole world, is that every person has to go from not being true to being true. Many times you can't see clearly, even though True Father has been giving words of guidance for many years. It's very difficult to strive continually towards the highest goal. Our members should be careful to never become static. Every day they need to know as individuals and as families and as groups that their goal is still far ahead of them. They have to try every day to keep moving, because if they stop moving, Satan's constant attack will make them lose ground even without their knowing it. They always have to know that their goal is the very highest goal, and they have to keep going.
Many of our brothers and sisters in this movement have been members for many years, and sometimes they judge the Unification movement. But I deeply felt during this forty-day condition that this time is one of the greatest turning points in the history of humankind, and especially in the history of our church. As Father has told us, had Christianity accepted him, the Unification Church would not have needed to exist. Now after forty years of Father's total sacrifice we have come back to another crucial point. I hope our brothers and sisters can understand that there is a great change coming; the greatest of victories is at hand. But it can only come about if our members are ready to move into action. We have to break out of our old way of thinking and understand that a brand new beginning is coming upon us in our movement. Our Father is saying that out of thousands of members even just a few hundred of us need to completely understand the crucial aspect of this time. Hopefully more people than that can comprehend the path that we have to take, starting in 1985, upon Father's great victory at Danbury.
Dong Moon Joo:
Jin Sung Nim, what is the point that has most inspired and impressed you about the True Children?
Jin Sung Nim:
Sometimes I look at myself and see the reality of my own situation and how far I have to go before I can reach my goals. Then I see that every day I make so many blunders, many careless mistakes of character. My motivation and my thinking are not always pure. I know each of the True Children is extremely sensitive. They feel all the impurities of character and heart around them. I know it's so easy when you receive some deeper truth to turn around and judge your brothers and sisters. But True Children never do that. They always want to understand and give you more love; they always try to raise you up.
Dong Moon Joo:
Could you give us your understanding of filial piety?
Jin Sung Nim:
I know that if I don't really understand how much True Parents are doing for all of us and for God, then I cannot actually say that my love for them is true. If the parents are suffering and the children say, "I love my parents, [love my parents," but they do not even see their parents' suffering, then they only have a shallow love for them. So I think I have to develop my understanding of my Parents and how much they are sacrificing, how much they are suffering, before I am able to say that I am a filial son.
Dong Moon Joo:
When are Father and Mother happiest?
Kook Jin Nim:
When they see their children doing well in school, getting good grades and so forth, they are very proud of their children. True Parents actually feel joy when their children excel. At times some of the children may not be doing so well in school. But when True Parents see them playing with each other, expressing closeness and love -- that makes them happy. Although I cannot definitely say what brings True Parents joy, I feel this does, watching my younger brothers and sisters playing and feeling so much love for each other.
Jin Sung Nim:
Father and Mother ask us to go to school so that we can have a respected position in the eyes of the world -- so that people will listen to our message. I know that will make Father and Mother happy. I'm already 23 years old, and I'm still becoming a man -- and by Heavenly Father's standards that means I should also become a true man. When I grew up in Washington, I spent most of my time just going to school and being a good student. But many ideas from fallen society can influence you when you're young if you're not careful. Especially now during this crucial time when we are all growing up so quickly, before we all become mature men and women, we have to prepare our hearts. And when I can deepen my heart with a greater understanding of True Parents and what they are trying to do, that will make them happy.
When I compare myself to my true brothers, Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, Hyun Jin Nim, and Kook Jin Nim, spiritually I feel I'm a whole generation apart. They are a generation ahead of us. When I am with True Parents, I feel my understanding of the significance of everything around me is so shallow. I feel that Father and Mother only need to look into my eyes for one second, and they know where I am. I am convinced that my only offering is within myself; I have to try to bring myself closer to understanding them, closer to becoming a true man.
Dong Moon Joo:
What do you feel is the most significant and inspiring point about Hyo Jin Nim?
Hyun Jin Nim:
He is able to put his personal desires behind him and do things for others. That is truly Father's spirit. In many ways he is just like Father--how he speaks, how he looks at you. But as with Father, I cannot say any one part of him is great; everything is great. Hyo Jin Hyung is the first son of True Father and True Mother and the first male representative of our family. I thank him because in so many ways he demonstrated the trueness of our True Family.
I have three heroes in my life. The first one is True Parents -- I think of them as one entity. I can't see one without feeling the presence of the other. The next two are Hyo Jin Hyung and Heung Jin Hyung. I hope I can absorb all the wonderful traits of Hyo Jin Hyung. He has great determination, love, filial piety, and strength in so many fields; and I hope I can also inherit the fine traits of Heung Jin Hyung -- his ability to care so much for people and his great filial piety and true-heartedness.
Kook Jin Nim:
Hyo Jin Hyung, like our True Father, is a unifier; he is one with himself, and he is able to control his emotions and his feelings and live for his children, his people. That aspect of being able to sacrifice everything for his brothers and sisters and for the people around him is one of the things I most admire about him.
Jin Sung Nim:
I truly, truly love Hyo Jin Hyung Nim. It's very hard to point out a specific characteristic I like best. We were not around when Father as a boy took up his challenge and developed through many stages to become a true man in the sight of God. When I look at Hyo Jin Hyung Nim and the other True Children, I can see for the second time in the history of the universe something very special: true sons and daughters of God as He intended them to be, growing up.
One way to understand how the True Children enter the perfection stage is that as they grow, they are deepening their love for Father and Mother, and they are thereby connecting directly to Heavenly Father. And now we are witnessing Heavenly Father coming to dwell in Hyo Jin Hyung Nim's heart. When we pray many of us just ask Heavenly Father for something. But suddenly, right before our eyes, we're watching Hyo Jin Hyung Nim becoming a true man. Heavenly Father is so clearly calling him, pouring so many things into his mind and heart. And just to watch that, to witness this kind of fulfillment, and to know that everyone is intended one day to reach it, is very, very inspiring.
Dong Moon Joo:
In light of Father's mission, what do you think Hyo Jin Nim will do in the future?
Hyun Jin Nim:
I feel Hyo Jin Hyung is walking the same road as True Father. There is a lot to this, because Father is striving to achieve worldwide unity and bring about the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. But to bring the proper order and godly standards to the world, is the work of the second generation; to modify, shape, and smooth the edges is our task. And since Hyo Jin Hyung is the leader, I feel that is his role. But in heart and spirit Hyo Jin Hyung has the same role as Father, because their goals are the same; their objective is to make a better world.
Kook Jin Nim:
During this time members hear or read Father's words, but sometimes they feel shaky about them or they don't understand what Father is trying to say. Hyo Jin Hyung shows a true understanding of Father's words and is able to teach us this kind of understanding.
Jin Sung Nim:
Father and Mother have been walking a lonely path, trying to teach thousands of people the truth. If our leaders could fully understand True Father's heart, many more people could accompany Father on this road. But up until now, Father and Mother have been walking this road alone, and no one could completely understand them. Now we have somebody who has found True Parents' path and is running up to Father and Mother to share that path with them; one who is ready to go even to the farthest destination that Father and Mother want to reach.
I do not even understand yet where Father and Mother are and where they are going. For instance, when I try to imagine what's going to happen next year or in five or ten years, I realize that my understanding is very weak. Father has planned out all those years so carefully, and now Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, with his wonderful mind, is planning out the future very carefully too. He is thinking very much about the blessed children. I hope this new generation, the blessed children, can unite as closely as they can with Hyo Jin Hyung Nim and the True Family; that will signify a great new age. I am sure that guided by Hyo Jin Hyung Nim, the blessed children's depth of heart can go far beyond what we know now.