How Deep is Your Love?

Hyo Jin Moon January 22, 2006 Belvedere Transcription T. K.


How are you doing? Nice to see you.


Before I start, some people have a problem with my colorful words. My advice to you: stay home!!!


Having said that, I’ll try to make the choice of my words as dull as possible, can’t guarantee you of anything, but I’ll try.


You know today I came back from spending some time in Hawaii, and this is kind of a new start for me and I’m volunteering to do this and its important for me and, that’s why, might as well start with something general -- start with something big.


Let’s think about love, let’s talk about love, how deep is your love? You know I guess if you just talk to people in general and kind of observe how they use language, the word love, they use it in a very, I guess, on a secular level, they do use the word love a lot. "I love chocolate, I love Gucci, I love money, I would love to have all power, I’d love to have that position or this position, I’d love to spend just one night with that famous person."


And love gets used a lot, in a way, kind of secularly speaking, it’s used like a literary supplement to highlight or heighten your value and description of your needs and that’s pretty much what love has fallen, come down to. That’s how people use the word love in their lives. And just think about it, if that is the definition and description in which people in general in society, when we have to live gregariously constantly share with one another, then what is the true meaning of love?


Does the meaning of love end with the definition, the value that we at this point in time are comfortable with or accept? Or does it have some greater meaning? That’s why, I guess, people seek religion. Because something inside tells them, I don’t know maybe some inner voice, whatever.


Because you have to understand that in the individual self there is, like we all know principle teaching, there is spirit, mind and body. We have physical body, we have intellect, and we have spirit and self. And even in self, there is three stages. So we understand that because of Father’s teaching, but in the external world, in the secular world the understanding of even the simplest thing that we pursue, we hold valuable, because of what we understand, what we believe… what others believe is pretty foreign to us. We understand why they want those things, why they love those things, because, I guess, one time or another you loved those things too. When you want something more, that’s why you seek something greater, that’s why you try to understand God. And that’s a life long process, it’s never ending.


How do you understand the depths of love, you know? Because when you look at God’s way of love, many times you have to accept a lot of things that you don’t want to accept. You don’t want the definition or value of love to be something such as suffering… pain… misery. You have to be sadistic to like that kind of stuff. If you’re a prize fighter you can teach or train yourself to love pain, because that’s how you make a living.


But beyond that it’s very difficult to accept, because in many cases in the life of pursuing God’s course; or God’s ways; or God’s understanding; or learning about God’s definition of things in life -- is the opposite of what people consider love to be. Because, you know, I like chocolate too, but if you like chocolate too much you’re going to get fat. Money’s good, sure, you can buy a mansion, you can buy, not just one, buy ten of them, have them strewn all around the world and take time off and go to those places and choose something, try to conquer the world again and be the richest man on earth!


All those things maybe you like to talk about, you like to think about them at times, sure. There are many ways to go about, just if you don’t think about those things, maybe it’s because I haven’t learned about these things almost to the point of brainwashing ever since I was a boy. Maybe I can’t, you know it’s very difficult for me to part from it, just cut away from it, because I don’t want to go down in history as such and such and such, because that’s kind of engrained into me. There are ways to go about pursuing that kind of stuff, but if I do I’m going to go down in history, because of my lineage, what I belong to, is something that I can’t ever change.


Just because you change my children’s name from Moon to Hong doesn’t mean that they’ll forever be Hongs. People can do that, crazy people do that kind of stuff, without my permission they can burn my son’s body, they can deprive me of my last right to see my son, they can do that kind of stuff. And what happens after that?


I think about the consequences no matter how at times, how difficult for me it is to accept certain things. I have to think about those things because I believe how I came to accept that, that’s not the problem. The situation is that I believe it, that’s the problem. Because I accepted, I have to deal with that issue, because I believe in the consequences, that’s why I have to make and interpret things based on that direction and that’s why it is very difficult for me to try and go the opposite direction, I struggle with that.


I wish when you think about, you know, giving excuses and stuff you can rationalize things, yes I can do those kinds of things to, BUT WHY? What am I doing it to? Who am I doing it to? WHY? For what reason? It’s like forget you, don’t even talk about it at all… but that’s not important, that’s not important.


I’m here because I want to be here, not because it’s my duty, so I want you to make the best of it. I know what duty feels like, you know, I was there pretty much a long time, every Sunday, pretty much for eight years, but this is not something of that nature, it’s something different. And I feel that I have something to say and I’m going to do my best to do so.


So having said that how do you go about trying to understand God’s love? First I have to understand my parental love. If you want to go up -- everybody has someone above them. Right? Even Messiah has Father. So immediately that’s where I would start. That’s the first thing that you base yourself on and of course in life. You have bosses and stuff, subject and object relations, but let’s just be intimate and the best way you can start in general, that we all have, which is parental relationship with self. So that’s the fundamental kind of primeval subject and object relation that we can start with.


In order to understand your father, you have to understand yourself first. And there’s “Where’s my limit," "Where do I belong in this relationship?” Many people I see in the secular world like certain positions, and they’ll do anything to achieve… attain them. But many times just getting it is not the end of the story, it’s only half of the story. You have to fulfill the position, you have to understand the responsibility, you have to be accountable for the position, the demands of the position that you have just acquired by any means necessary. So even just having the position is not the end of the story. It’s just the beginning. So just start with yourself, don’t think about any other position that you’d like to achieve or attain. Think about yourself.


I’m Father’s son, OK. What am I? Who am I? What is my limitation? How should I define myself?

When you talk about the definition of yourself you have to understand the merits of your responsibility. And what is that? What is the nature of my responsibility? What is the merit of my responsibility? What is the expectation? When you talk about merit you have to connect it to your expectation, the expectation of your position. Otherwise there is no meaning. So when you talk about expectation, how do you go about trying to understand the meaning of that stuff, if you don’t start to try to understand who is your subject? Because, that is the basic relationship that you’re trying to achieve. That is the beginning of understanding greater, ultimately God, right?

If Father is to far from me, let me start with Mother or something. You know what I’m saying? Well I do have an older sister. Maybe if my older sister can be some kind of indicator for me to understand and familiarize myself with the basic direction as to how I have to approach understanding my Mother. Then maybe that’s where I should start from. Sometimes you have to take things step by step.


You can’t just think big all the time. Especially when you want to be, if you are really serious, you want it to be meaningful; if you really want to find a quality, achieve quality, then you really have be cautious, right? You have to do things step by step. You can’t just always take giant leaps, maybe in general as humanity we can, but not as an individual, Right? So that is where you should start.


And if you get to know that, know your ultimate, then maybe you’ll have a little more understanding as to what kind of direction you should choose to make that contact and start to build something on that, something more meaningful. And if you have that kind of prepared knowledge then you can try it out, it can be exciting and it can be more stimulating for you. Because you have the kind of properties that you can bounce things off because you have all sorts of greater options then, maybe you’ll hit the mark, because ultimately in the end you have to make it work, somehow. That’s your responsibility.


I mean we understand God as a suffering God and He’s trying to make it work. So long in waiting, of course, it can be perceived as something painful, miserable, tremendous suffering, never ending agony and concern, worry. But you have to start somewhere, so starting somewhere I feel that you have to understand about who you are, and try to make the best preparation possible and try out all sorts of different things and find the thing that works to make that connection upward, properly.


In the past I just did it, I just did those kinds of things, I did what I was told to do. I was kind of a crazy kid, I knew all the crap about the world when I was young and there came a point in my life when I changed and I did everything I was told. And I did my best that’s about it. Might as well, I don’t like it, I really don’t like it, but if I’m going to do it, I might as well do my best. Try my best. See what happens. What you see is what you get. Why would I hide anything from you, the only reason that I don’t talk about it is because I can’t. I’m not afraid of men. You can kill me, you can shoot me dead, you can poison me, I’m not afraid of you, you think I’d lie to you. I think about myself first, okay.


Let’s just talk about men. Things that men have problems with in dealing with relationships -- I kind of simplify into a definition of three words… ”triple A” I call it: Arrogance, Aggression, and Ambition. And that is pretty much the basic premise that we deal with in terms of subjectivity. And if femininity the woman’s kind of stuff… I call “triple S” to keep it simple: Sensitivity, Sensibility, and Seduction. You know why do men have a problem with aggression… and arrogance… and ambition? To put it nicely, you know… Ambition is, ”oh he has a high goal”… Arrogance is… ”oh he’s proud”… and Aggression is… ”oh your so tough and powerful”


And when you look at physical self and intellectual self and spiritual self that “triple A” stuff has a different meaning but all those different kind of words have the same value in the end… there’s the same meaning. When you talk about Messiah, you talk about him as an arrogant, ambitious, aggressive, it just as different words describing that basic nature of it of words that I’ve just used… that’s about it. How would you want to put it? Absolute? Someone that demands absolute obedience, absolute faith.


All those properties that we have, have meaning behind them. But we abuse it, we misuse it. Many things we mishandle. It’s not the gun that kills people it’s the people who pulls the trigger of a gun that kills people. Everything that we have is a tool. We can misuse it. Our intelligence first of all is a tool, therefore all the words that we create to enrich our lives beyond monkeys are tools. So we can enrich our lives, you know, and grow harmoniously and in an infinite way and all sorts of possibilities.


Even music, anything that we have, instruments, it’s a tool, it’s only a tool. TO DO WHAT? Of course that’s what we have to figure out and that’ll take a lifetime. You’ll go through the journey of redefining, defining, revising the value of words that we normally use till the day we die. And hopefully everyone can always enhance the quality of it and in that, that will be the ideal world, if everyone were to pursue that kind of endeavor. If they never ever stop enhancing that quality of things that they understand and try to enhance the quality the value and the definition of even the basic things that we understand… till the day we die… never stopping. If you push till the day we die. Yes we can change the world. Yes that would be the beginning of the ideal world.

Because we struggle with the things that we describe as our needs, that’s why we, want to have religion, we want to unify that stuff. The basic stuff that we rely upon to create community, to create society. And think about yourself. Think about yourself just dealing with the basic understanding of words that we, describe, that we use to communicate with one another.


There’s a difference when you use basic language for children and your immediate family and even the same meaning will have different kind of tone and you’ll use a different kind of words with a similar meaning, but you’ll use it in a different way. Or choose different words when you go to a tribal meeting a social meeting or on national stage or on a global stage. This is kind of informal for me, that’s why sometimes I would curse, but if this were some kind of public rally I would choose to not use certain language. You know what I mean.


Who gives a hoot if I use colorful language at times? I don’t think that that would demean the value of what I’m trying to say. If I’m trying to make a point, that’s what’s important, and I don’t think that you should be distracted by frivolous things because many times if you’re that kind of person, I don’t think that you’re going to make it in this world, I don’t think that you’ll be somebody, okay?


You know, it’s very easy to criticize, but it’s very difficult to create something, okay? And if you understand the value of that, the basic things that are important in life and how to go about achieving it, you wouldn’t be that critical that cynical. Because what’s important is the essence of stuff that you try to create, and why do you do that? Because if you’re trying to do it for God, you’re not doing it for the money, right? You’re doing it for the sake of the betterment of federal man, right? Everybody needs the secondary stuff, it’s not a primary concern. If blessing comes… so be it. And if I’m more, I can give more that’s about it. I’m not going to take it with me. I see my sister [In Jin Moon] come and try to fundraise for Col. Pak. Did you guys give? I gave a long time ago.

You know you see people sometimes and you try to justify yourself and you pick and choose what is favorable to you, that’s why I don’t like to make excuses. I’d rather just say forget.


Anyway if you talk about this love stuff there are just so many things that we have to work out within ourselves. So when we paint the an outward picture of ourselves and try to advertise who we are, you gotta put that stuff, it has to be in the stuff… you have to put the proof in the stuff.

You know when I think about Shin Gil, I feel sorry in my heart, I feel sorry that I couldn’t spend much time with him because I couldn’t, because the court wouldn’t let me, it’s a unique circumstance, unprecedented stuff. In a way, I know that is my victory when it comes to what had happened. But I feel sorry that I couldn’t spend much time with him. And I really wanted to. And it was just about at the point I could spend some time, because he would be legally independent. That’s the kind of stuff the kind of gets you. We were planning all this stuff and well I’ll just have to wait a little longer. That’s about it. We all die, we just have to die well. That’s what is important.


And when we look at our individual lives with our individual families… they are constantly trying to understand the value of love. And normally you’d start with language… the words that you use, because it’s basic it’s where everything begins… with an idea, exchange of an idea. And we have to understand the eternal concept of divine love so we have to begin somewhere. And it starts with words. Words are very, very important to little kids and the meaning of it, that they’re constantly asking you. And if somehow they pick out a certain word and try to use it in their language and they communicate with each other or relate with me. They’re constantly trying to expand the understanding of it. And many times in that expansion when they feel love is kind of interesting is because it has to be something personal something that they can recognize as of value.


If we talk about something of value, even kids with their limited understanding, its important, they feel love and you somehow kind of promise them stuff, and I’m going to give you more and more and more stuff. And the promise of that expansion at that least that they like it, gives them all sorts of tingling sensations in their head and they’re happy, because they understand the importance of that possibility, because it is going to give them some kind of fulfillment -- some joy.


And of course you start with physical self pretty much those valuable needs to those little kids are very, very tangible stuff. That’s where you begin. Then as you grow as you mature, normally you start to see when a teenager reaches a certain age maybe 15, or 16 or 17… friends become more important than your whole family (your brother and sister your father and mother). They start to become tribal they go beyond at a certain phase they go beyond the family they will start to be tribal.


And they expand to society and nation… And in Korea and normally if you reach 60 years old and if you give yourself 0… 10… 20… 30… kind of decade and spread it out, it will take till about 60 yrs to get to the global stage of some sort if you have a defined pathway and you have preplanned some kind of program and if you’re successful at it most likely you’ll reach that stage -- that phase. So in Korea when you reach 60 years of age, that’s where you begin again. Most likely on the path they didn’t live that long so if they reached 60 yrs of age obviously you’re getting a second chance at life. That’s kind of process stuff but there is a philosophy behind it and that’s about it, your life begins at that age… and why? That’s my interpretation.


So the value of that kind of needs change as you move up in life from family to tribe to society to nation, the value will change to the world and if you go beyond it of course the value will change. In terms of your needs. If I started with a bunch of toys in the beginning but it will change as it goes up. The value of your needs. The definition of your needs.


Because ultimately you have to understand what God sees as defined love or valued love. That’s what you have to understand. That’s what we’re trying to understand and we have to constantly upgrade our value. The definition of our needs.


That’s the most important thing I feel if you want to understand God’s love. You can’t just get stuck at a certain kind of level and say this is God’s love. I think that’s stupid. I think that’s blasphemy. You have a basic direction of love because in the end all this plus and minus, good and evil stuff and Tree of Life it was all contained in the Garden of Eden so the important thing is what’s the next step. You just have to choose one direction, that’s what absolute is. Because that’s what’s in yourself. Selfishness is bad, living for the sake of others is good and that’s plus and minus and that’s what we start with. That reality will never change. We’ll always have that individual self to deal with to try and accomplish that task. Forever!


Certain things can be habitual. We understand there are properties there, there are tools out there even built in, innate. We just have to trigger it. That we can use to make or make that kind of process, but all these things have to be triggered -- have to be connected and triggered.

We do have all the tools. But you have to understand what that is and trigger it and keep it moving then you can automate it and it can be habituated. You have all the basic stuff you just have to use it in a functional way.


You know you can build you can make, give yourself a lot of bad habits, but you can also give yourself good habits too. Right?


You can teach yourself to give, right? Because there is great joy in it, there is pleasure in it. And it’s better in your pocket than in my pocket and you see that person just light up and you get a kick out of it. Even with the simple kind of giving… with stuff. There’s a pleasure in it. And you can make that into a habit. You can get addicted to that kind of stuff. Not only things that can kill you.

So you choose it. You have all this stuff even things that can kill you or many times save your life, right? Vaccination. There’s all sorts of stuff, we just have to understand the meaning of it. Understand why it exists. Define it properly. And as we heighten the definition into greater truth, greater sensitivity, sensibility, yes, everything can benefit us based on right choice making. Everything. It’s up to us. Some people get that, that’s why you have to share that kind of stuff. You have a social duty to do that kind of stuff if you’re civilized, right.


So everything that is basic we already have it, we just don’t use it properly, we don’t stress it enough at times. We kind of bury it away because someone wants to be vainglorious, you know? That’s about it. That’s the only reason that we struggle. Just think about it if we can focus the kind of resources that we have... we are absolutely unique. In certain ways we can have more cash than any large corporation in the world in a given year.


How many people will envy that? That’s something for people to envy, you know?


And that’s reality! And at the same time we’re a unique church. Why, because we put emphasis on the Blessing. And we actually have this kind of reality of all this international blessing coming together, seeing the importance of being engrafted, understanding the importance of lineage and trying to establish that kind of foundation of substance based on the ideal of who we are. That’s very unique.


We can talk about all kinds of racial propensities and there is a lot of stuff that we have to push and we have to challenge the world with, but we can’t do it alone. We need to have an army. We can literally start a television network with a certain amount of money and with certain kinds of characters. Yes we can make it work based on... if we have some kind of prepared investment capital and if we’re willing to use it solely for that reason, sure, we’ll make it work one way or another, in ten years. If they can do it, we can do it absolutely. But that time will come.


Father will do his best to complete his mission while He’s breathing, period. Here’s the right way. That’s about it.


Do the best you can. Father I hope you’re successful. That’s all I can do. I’ll try to help you though if I can. Sure, I’ll do that.


But taking the next step -- sure we can do that stuff. We already have that foundation we just have to act on it and then that day will come, I know. I absolutely believe it. It’s not that difficult we already have the... to do it. It’s just a matter of doing it. We can wait. That’s about it.

You measure your love.


How deep is your love?


How far away from God are you?


How do you define love, you know?


How do you define your needs?


Measure yourself… I don’t know you, just as you don’t know me that well. If some of you think you know me, you only know me because I had my obligation… my duty to study in front of you for a long time that’s about it. And pretty much that’s about it. And to me the reason I like the kind of creativity because it keeps me simple, because that process is really painful and complicated. So I like my life to be simple. I need that balance.


That’s why I can’t really understand people who criticize… Blah, blah, blah, blah, because they don’t understand that process. That’s why they just have so much time on their hands and so much energy, they criticize, this nonsensical garble, superficial analysis.


Do something meaningful. If you really want to use your head make something meaningful. Then you will truly appreciate the simplicity of life.


Only you can’t start to see the essence of stuff unless your life is somehow balanced. When it’s all jumbled up you aren’t going to find it. You want to understand, to find God’s love? Find something. Bring some kind of balance into your life. In order to do that you have to try to do something meaningful, make something meaningful, create something meaningful.


You can start to recreate even the basic definition of what life is to you, the things that are important to you, the needs that are important to you. Do something that will actually be meaningful to you that can change you. If you can’t expand outward yet, start with yourself first, you know? Only then can you start to see some clarity. Otherwise everything is jumbled up, you already have all this cynicism, criticism, all these jumbled thoughts in your head. You’re not going to find anything.


So, please, start with the basic things first. First stuff first. First things first. Find a new definition of life. The things that are important to you that leads to, I don’t even want to say love because that’s too big for me even, even I’m trying to redefine the basic stuff, I don’t even want to think about love. But it’s leading up to that stuff that’s about it. That’s my faith. Okay, I hope that I shared something with you that you can use.


Anyway, Take care, okay. 

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