Often we are struggling

Hyo Jin Moon March 30, 1985


On June 18, 1984, True Father met with international leaders of CARP at East Garden and explained that the organization was now entering a new phase, the era of the second generation. Present at the meeting were Mr. Ohta of Japan, Rev. Bong Tae Kim of Korea, Dr. Joon Ho Seuk and Mr. Dieter Schmidt of Germany. Father announced that his oldest son Hyo Jin nim would now assume the position of World CARP president. Until that time, World CARP had existed only in theory, it was not a formal organization and no one other than Father himself had been the leader of World CARP. It was not therefore a clearly defined role but it represented a major responsibility.


Hyo Jin Moon took this challenge seriously. From January 12 to June 11, 1985, he completed a 100-day prayer condition at the Belvedere holy ground. Hyo Jin nim explained that the purpose behind his prayer was "to achieve a heartistic union or oneness with Father, where I would begin to understand his suffering as his eldest son." Later, Dr. Seuk stated that Hyo Jin nim had restored the heavenly older son's position through his prayer vigil and that by uniting with him, the blessed children and CARP had restored the original heavenly order of older child and younger child.


Hyo Jin Moon's first official address as the leader of World CARP was delivered on March 30, 1985, at the Columbia Center in New York City, where a hundred East Coast CARP members met with Dr. Seuk and his wife Moon Hye Yoon. Hyo Jin nim cut the ribbon to officially open the newly refurbished center. The following is the address he gave on that occasion before leaving to visit his father in Danbury, Connecticut.


First of all, I would like to thank everybody and to celebrate this occasion. I want to thank all of you for standing strong against Satan. Often, if I am at home, I get many letters from brothers and sisters telling me the story of how they first joined the church, what their missions are and what their experiences have been like in the Unification Church. Many times those letters are really heartaches; they move me a lot. Often the members are really struggling, struggling to relate with their leaders, struggling to fight off many temptations. They are struggling to adapt to their environment. They frequently struggle with their leaders and with themselves. Sometimes this hurts me. For whatever we do and whatever we feel about each other, nothing must belong to Satan. Nothing can be claimed by Satan. When we ourselves are separated and we admit to ourselves that something is wrong with each other, we are admitting to ourselves and to Satan that he has won that course and that part of our lives. Yesterday, I was at Holy Rock thinking about each one of you, what I can say to you and how I can bring you more closely together and closer to True Parents. How can we understand the value of what Father and God are preparing for us to do?


I often ask myself: When do I repent?


When is the ideal time to repent? Do I repent because I am weak or because I am ashamed of the external mistakes that I have made? Is that the only time I repent? Then I felt inside that when we repent we are coming closer to God, because God is eternal. God is endless. When you set yourself up, confident as one being, you are limiting your growth.


I am only so much as one man. Even God is seeking out and Father is seeking to find the ideal vessel for the perfect man. When we are over-confident in ourselves we stop growing. We are here to unite, but not just to unite but to truly understand God and to be with God; to understand what God is trying to prepare for us, what his love is all about. How can we not try to reach for that which is endless and eternal? So our lives should depend on repentance. I don't think this is something we should be ashamed of. I think it is the greatest thing. It is the way we can be with God.


I was so much into martial arts, physical activities and going out just doing whatever I was drawn to. I was always trying to accomplish something. When I accomplished it, I felt satisfied, but still I always wanted mom. I wanted to reach out to every part of you and every part of the world, but I would say to myself that that is not the greatest thing. God is not just one thing. He is the creator of the universe. I don't want to put myself just in the position of a guitar player or a martial artist. I would rather be just Father's son speaking to you. I want to touch more. I want to be more, not for myself, but for all of you. Do you think living for my own satisfaction will be welcomed in God's dominion? God is always giving, preparing, always the provider, and always loving. With that kind of heart, in that kind of world, how can I survive when I only seek my best interest, my gratification? That is when I stop to think and realize that it is wrong.


Many young people get inspiration in times of struggle through things. They rejoice and feel closer to things, but I want to give you more than just a moment of satisfaction. Sometimes fighting off disease is a painful course but I cannot give you some kind of drug that can cure you moment by moment. If I care about you, even though it hurts, both Father and I will say to you strongly that you must do this. Why? Because that is our work. That is how much we must work for God.


Why are we here? Are we here because we ourselves are great? No, we are here to give. We are here to receive God's love and give it to our children. That is the greatest thing we can accomplish. What more can we do? What greater task can you think of where you can proudly stand in the world of eternity and in the sight of God? Physical fame or greatness? I don't think there is any greatness that can top the suffering that you want to offer to God.


What is filial piety? It is wanting to take my father's suffering, my brother's suffering. I want to do that because I love my family; I love my God. Many people live in the fallen world and they just take love -- such an endless and precious thing. Yet they make love into a little thing, into just physical love.


When we are young and growing up, we should learn the right things but there is nothing out there providing true guidance or the true meaning of love. There is nothing out there for us to learn but we pick up fallen things because we are desperate and we need to dwell on love. So we make ourselves believe that that is love. Without a model of a true man and a true woman, there is nothing. That is what Father said. Father said, "Why didn't Jesus give the ideal image of a human being? Why didn't he say this person is the ideal man and you should follow this person? Why did he say he was going to come back?"


America is truly a God-prepared nation. Why? Because it is said here that all men are created equal. That was to prepare for the coming of the Messiah. If that had not happened, many people would stand up and proclaim a false Messiah. They would claim themselves as the Messiah. The founding fathers may not have understood why they were enforcing this so strongly, but it is what God wanted. That is what I feel.


When I was young, going to school was the hardest thing to do. The accusations they threw at me I could take, but when they accused my parents, that I could not bear. I go to school now and I see many young people. They are still struggling to find the truth. Sometimes I get angry. I get so angry that I hate what they are doing. How can someone let themselves believe that they are not a child of God? They believe that they are the son of a monkey. How can they see their own value in that kind of society? That is why when you can change hatred into love it can become the greatest power. In the darkest place the light burns brighter.


I believe that when Father sent me to school he wanted me to learn how to change things. He wanted me to gain confidence, not my own confidence, but confidence that with God we can do it. I can do it.


I am learning about the people. I learn about what they believe and their ideology. I learn about their lifestyle and what their weaknesses are.