Often we are struggling

Hyo Jin Moon March 30, 1985


On June 18, 1984, True Father met with international leaders of CARP at East Garden and explained that the organization was now entering a new phase, the era of the second generation. Present at the meeting were Mr. Ohta of Japan, Rev. Bong Tae Kim of Korea, Dr. Joon Ho Seuk and Mr. Dieter Schmidt of Germany. Father announced that his oldest son Hyo Jin nim would now assume the position of World CARP president. Until that time, World CARP had existed only in theory, it was not a formal organization and no one other than Father himself had been the leader of World CARP. It was not therefore a clearly defined role but it represented a major responsibility.


Hyo Jin Moon took this challenge seriously. From January 12 to June 11, 1985, he completed a 100-day prayer condition at the Belvedere holy ground. Hyo Jin nim explained that the purpose behind his prayer was "to achieve a heartistic union or oneness with Father, where I would begin to understand his suffering as his eldest son." Later, Dr. Seuk stated that Hyo Jin nim had restored the heavenly older son's position through his prayer vigil and that by uniting with him, the blessed children and CARP had restored the original heavenly order of older child and younger child.


Hyo Jin Moon's first official address as the leader of World CARP was delivered on March 30, 1985, at the Columbia Center in New York City, where a hundred East Coast CARP members met with Dr. Seuk and his wife Moon Hye Yoon. Hyo Jin nim cut the ribbon to officially open the newly refurbished center. The following is the address he gave on that occasion before leaving to visit his father in Danbury, Connecticut.


First of all, I would like to thank everybody and to celebrate this occasion. I want to thank all of you for standing strong against Satan. Often, if I am at home, I get many letters from brothers and sisters telling me the story of how they first joined the church, what their missions are and what their experiences have been like in the Unification Church. Many times those letters are really heartaches; they move me a lot. Often the members are really struggling, struggling to relate with their leaders, struggling to fight off many temptations. They are struggling to adapt to their environment. They frequently struggle with their leaders and with themselves. Sometimes this hurts me. For whatever we do and whatever we feel about each other, nothing must belong to Satan. Nothing can be claimed by Satan. When we ourselves are separated and we admit to ourselves that something is wrong with each other, we are admitting to ourselves and to Satan that he has won that course and that part of our lives. Yesterday, I was at Holy Rock thinking about each one of you, what I can say to you and how I can bring you more closely together and closer to True Parents. How can we understand the value of what Father and God are preparing for us to do?


I often ask myself: When do I repent?


When is the ideal time to repent? Do I repent because I am weak or because I am ashamed of the external mistakes that I have made? Is that the only time I repent? Then I felt inside that when we repent we are coming closer to God, because God is eternal. God is endless. When you set yourself up, confident as one being, you are limiting your growth.


I am only so much as one man. Even God is seeking out and Father is seeking to find the ideal vessel for the perfect man. When we are over-confident in ourselves we stop growing. We are here to unite, but not just to unite but to truly understand God and to be with God; to understand what God is trying to prepare for us, what his love is all about. How can we not try to reach for that which is endless and eternal? So our lives should depend on repentance. I don't think this is something we should be ashamed of. I think it is the greatest thing. It is the way we can be with God.


I was so much into martial arts, physical activities and going out just doing whatever I was drawn to. I was always trying to accomplish something. When I accomplished it, I felt satisfied, but still I always wanted mom. I wanted to reach out to every part of you and every part of the world, but I would say to myself that that is not the greatest thing. God is not just one thing. He is the creator of the universe. I don't want to put myself just in the position of a guitar player or a martial artist. I would rather be just Father's son speaking to you. I want to touch more. I want to be more, not for myself, but for all of you. Do you think living for my own satisfaction will be welcomed in God's dominion? God is always giving, preparing, always the provider, and always loving. With that kind of heart, in that kind of world, how can I survive when I only seek my best interest, my gratification? That is whe